Might Be My Last Post For A While

So, in the past couple of weeks I've slowly declined to basically hitting the point of rock bottom these past two days.

Here are some of the facts I wish to share today:
1) My drinking is completely out of hand. It is unmanageable. I can't be trusted around Liquor stores or bars. I drink to the point that not only do I blackout everything, but the next morning I get to see the aftermath in my apartment of what I did. It's never good. It's not like I ever wake up saying, "oh, I got wasted last night and cleaned my house and donated to charity." It's always a very dark scene. I'll leave it at that.

 2) Because of #1, I have completely  blown it with my job. I called to talk to my boss about things, and he informed me all my shifts were covered and that I need to go fix myself before I can come back. Let me just tell you, there are very few things that are worse than having people you respect always being disappointed by you. My boss just plain called me a drunk. That hurt so goddamn bad, but he's so completely right. I AM a drunk, and he can't have that at his business.

3) Because I've been drinking so much, I've pissed away my rent. I'm rather surprised there isn't an eviction notice on my door.



So, with all of that said, and with the help of Suzie, My Sister, and a couple of VERY dear friends, I am moving out of this city and I'm GOING to fix this. I'm going to go work, sweat, be around emotional and intelligent people, and be far away from the clutches of this town. No, I am not "running away"... I am "moving on" and getting myself back to the person that so many of you tell me that you love.


Like the title says, this might be my last post for a while. When I get out there, I don't know how much inet access I'll have. Even if there is access, I might just want to keep a lot of my thoughts to myself for a bit. But, you never know... I might want to be writing every spare moment. I won't know till I'm there.

Hopefully I'll see most of you on the other side of this. I know there are a lot of relationships I'm going to have to remove myself from because there is just too much drinking involved in it. I really hope these people will understand, but if they don't, I understand.

Man, writing all of this out scares the shit out of me.